I

wan-

na

tell

you

all

a

story

A-

bout

a

Har-

per

Val-

ley

wi-

dowed

wi-

fe

Who

had

a

tee-

nage

daugh-

ter

Who

at-

ten-

ded

Har-

per

Val-

ley

Ju-

nior

High

Well,

her

daug-

hter

came

home

one

af-

ter-

no-

on

And

did-

n't

e-

ven

stop

to

play

And

she

said,

"Mom,

I

got

a

note

here

From

the

Har-

per

Val-

ley

P-

T-

A"

Well,

the

note

said,

"Mr-

s.

John-

son

You're

wea-

rin'

your

dres-

ses

way

too

high

It's

re-

por-

ted

you've

been

drin-

king

And

a-

run-

ning

'round

with

men

and

go-

in'

wild

And

we

don't

be-

lieve

you

oug-

hta

be

A-

brin-

gin'

up

your

lit-

tle

girl

this

way"

And

it

was

sig-

ned

by

the

sec-

re-

ta-

ry

Har-

per

Val-

ley

P-

T-

A

Well,

it

hap-

pened

that

the

P-

T-

A

Was

gon-

na

meet

that

ve-

ry

af-

ter-

noon

And

they

were

sure

sur-

prised

when

Mr-

s.

John-

son

Wore

her

mi-

ni-

skirt

in-

to

the

room

And

as

she

walked

up

to

the

black-

board

I

can

still

rec-

all

the

words

she

had

to

say

She

said,

"I'd

like

to

ad-

dress

this

mee-

ting

O-

f

the

Har-

per

Val-

ley

P-

T-

A"

"Well,

there's

Bob-

by

Tay-

lor

sit-

tin'

there

And

se-

ven

times

he's

asked

me

for

a

date

And

Mr-

s.

Tay-

lor

sure

seems

to

use

a

lot-

ta

ice

Whe-

ne-

ver

he's

a-

way

And,

M-

r.

Ba-

ker,

can

you

tell

us

why

Your

sec-

re-

ta-

ry

had

to

leave

this

town?

And

shoul-

dn't

wi-

dow

Jones

be

told

to

keep

Her

win-

dow

shades

all

pulled

com-

plete-

ly

down?"

"Well,

M-

r.

Har-

per

coul-

dn't

be

here

'Cause

he

stayed

too

long

at

Kel-

ly's

Bar

a-

gain

And

if

you'll

smell

Shir-

ley

Thomp-

son's

breath

You'll

find

she's

had

a

lit-

tl-

e

nip

of

gin

And

then

you

have

the

nerve

to

tell

me

You

think

that

as

a

mot-

her

I'm

not

fit

Well,

this

is

just

a

lit-

tle

Pey-

ton

Place

And

you're

all

Har-

per

Val-

ley

hy-

po-

crites"

No,

I

woul-

dn't

put

you

on,

be-

cause

it

real-

ly

did

It

hap-

pened

just

this

way

The

day

my

ma-

ma

socked

it

to

The

Har-

per

Val-

ley

P-

T-

A

The

day

my

ma-

ma

socked

it

to

The

Har-

per

Val-

ley

P-

T-

A